::superficial:: / Friday, September 22, 2006
somebody cheer me up please. jokes, your smile, anything. but i don't think it would help much. even if it's funny, pardon me, i'll only smile or chuckle a bit. i don't know what's up with me. is it because of sadness, stress or what? but WHY am i sad? the answer - would be found slowly. or maybe it won't be. never found. it's a feeling, just one indescribable feeling. indescribable.
everything - indescribable. how come it's here and why is it part of my life. somehow i feel everywhere you go and see is part of your life. mysteries, clues. and somehow, it shapes who you are. my eyes are stinging and i have no idea why. but they are just welling up, not flowing. who's causing this to happen. is anything missing in my life?
no. i got alot of things. but they are materialistic. materials. not abstract, not profound. not something like love, happiness, friendship. i only got ipod, a table, a computer and everything like this. but even i have those abstract stuff. it seems so. they're fake. they just seem like its real. however, i've never come acorss those that are real. i'm beginning to wonder whether i, too, is fake.
my fingers dancing across the keyboard. my eyes just staring across the screen. watching the words appear. appear. i look down at the keyboard. my fingers doing the job, the keys being pressed down. up and down, up and down. in just a split second. is somebody doing it to me too? up and down. up and down.
i wonder who i am. just someone, not so important here.
my tears have dried, miraculously. it just sinks in back to my eyes again. somehow. why did the tear ducts activate and then don't let the tears just flow. they are suppose to! flow.
everything is superficial. they are just trying to shape you. they aren't that important. friends...do you think they're really 'real'? they just seem real and important. but are they really? not all. they, come and go. pick on you now and then. use you when necessary. i don't know. i'm confused and i don't think my brain is actually working right.
my stereos are booming. the only sounds: wheezing of the air-con, the "click-clack" of the pressed keys, and the music that is playing. i just let it play, and it doesn't make any sense to me anymore. it's the second time i'm playing my playlist. why can't i just let it go? let it go and fly themselves. and i can be a free and light person again. no, i was never someone like that. i was always someone who was clinged and stuck to the wall. my cell, my jail. someone who was always pretending, fantasizing and living in her little own world. that time, i was, happy. now, i don't know where i am, don't know where i am.
maybe i'm held down. maybe i can fly (oh! little bluebird) and reach my potential. maybe i'm someone made out to do great things. but, how come? i don't see anything hinting. it just seems to me now that i'm a CONTROLLED wanderer. who just follows but still have those wild and vague, blurry thoughts.
maybe you think i'm fake. just trying to pretend to be sophisticated and profound and everything else related. that is what YOU think. and i am in no position to change that. but just let me tell you this, what i've just said is a true reflection of what i'm feeling now. even if it's almost indescribable. this is how hard i've tried.
you can pay no attention to it. it's not exactly for YOU to read. it's for ME to pen down my thoughts and you to read it at your own will. i thank all who have actually READ it.
nobody, no-one really knows who i am. because they aren't that close. even if they are, i don't show my true self. because if i do, you probably won''t understand me any much more. you probably won't understand anything i say. because that is not who you think i am. so, i'd rather put on my alter-ego (?) - the ryl that you all know. whether well or not. but as you can see from MOST of my posts, that is not who i really am. i mean, it's me alright, but not exactly. not whole-y. there's this other part of me who is wishing, so hard, to come out. but it isn't really time. maybe older, maybe later.
but even if it doesn't. i am still me. ryl. cheryl. and i think, i've decided, that i'll continue to be who you all know (quite) well. i think we're both happy that way. i make you happy. and you can do too.
smiling, sort of. oh! slowly get to know me, if you want, that is. and i don't mind. okay, little boast. but i can kindduf read character, faces. you know that sort of thing. so it's kindduf easy ( to me) to see if you're acting or really from your heart. but i don't really make a point to do that. so don't act, don't be fake. it won't do you any good. be yourself. i mean, if you have something to hide or whatever, just show partially yourself. like me. kindduf.
good for you if you're a really good actor.
and if you're wondering what a freak i am, i don't care. because it IS in my personality. blame the gods for having my starsign as scorpio. scorpios are known to have split personalities. no, not that serious but have a different personality to different people and different places. that sort of thing. so kevin, yeah, i guess have something to hide somewhere. he has another personality. and i CANNOT pin-point exactly what it is. and have no intention to. why waste time on this weirdo?
all scorpios out there! you must really be very happy for being a scorpio. i don't know about you, fellow scorpios, but i love being a scorpio. it's fun, actually, to keep on switching sides and blah blah. so actually, those who call me fake (and i know who), are actually kindduf correct. you people are really observant, eh?
goodbye. i'm not that sad anymore. tmr's my sis bdae party in advance. so i shouldn't be sad.
:))
/ihopped at
8:55 PM
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::week:: / Thursday, September 14, 2006
hi. been a week since i posted. had no time..maybe i had. but was in no mood. had that sinking feeling again. that kind of feeling where you feel so gloomy inside, but you try to force to smile outside. and people take it for real. but you have absolutely no idea how come you have that feeling (again). it's so sudden..nvm, you won't understand even if i write it down.
psle oral listening. [i'm sorry if i write it in a..say, sad tone] it was quite easy actually. esp. el listening. cl chinese listening, during the break, alot of pple were debating on Q4's answer. alot of pple put (1). but i put (3). and lynn, changrui and shengsiong too. i heard it was correct. haha, yay. i think zhou lao shi told 6K after the listening. i guess why the people got wrong is because they used their common logic. not that the above mentioned (including me) have no sense/logic. it was BASED on the text. but its over, we can't change it. no, we cannot.
lots of things happened. the past one week. been eating good food! lol. and gonna eat more at night. yay! becos it's my mother's mother's bdae. i do not wish to call her my
wai po because of personal reasons. thankyou. i'm there for the food only. say whatever you please, i know i'm evil and have no respect for elders, okay. sigh.
i'm tired already. i'm tired of doing all this..i'm tired of existing. and putting up with so many different people. to please them, you just ain't yourself anymore. it's difficult to find someone you could act so naturally with. not even my parents. sigh. it's just so difficult. i'm tired of putting on a mask everytime. everything..i'm tired.
i can't cry anymore. because there's no reason to do that. and i have used up my limited supply. i can only feel my sould crushing and crumbling. my tear ducts don't work anymore. because, i've already become someone..no, something, hollow. even if i want to cry, i can't. what's the use when it won't help anything. life is like bubbles. so fragile. but when you're in light, it reflects like a thousand rainbows - so beautiful and cute. bouncy. but it won't last - those happy times...they'll pop and..vapourise.
so many things on my mind. jin told me something that i cannot tell. NO, it is not anything related to BGR or any other popular gossip. and i'm happy. yay, i hope she doesn't change her mind again. and..i just found out another FREAKY person likes me. and when i say that, i really REALLY mean it. FREAKY. very. i totally attract the wrong crowd. what's up with me..anyway, there isn't any much "crowd" to attract in ny gep. oh, the ms joanne tuition girls (namely: janne, sr, rach) are kindduf obsessing over this cute guy called joseph. and i don't know how cute. i need a picture. janne smsed him and he said, "your message brightened up my day!" how sweet. but bernice just had to say it sounded fake. janne was fuming..
i'm truly sorry. really truly. to people i've hurt with my sometimes curting reamarks. even if i had no intention of doing it. people have different perspectives..i am sorry. and wishing you people will forgive me..and be friends again. it's okay if you don't. i'm okay.
i think i'm shocked. have i gotten hay fever or smth?
not too long ago, i went to this bookfair. in EXPO. the selections wasn't fantastic but amazingly, my family (disincluding my dad) managed to spent $109 on books and stationeries. i bought the catherine lim book i always wanted my own. the song of silver frond. some of you may have seen me reading. i read it finish. and it's $6 bucks instead of the 20 smth dollars. great buy. and i bought a nobel prize litriture winner (the double) for $5 bucks. and this book: ten poems to change your life for $6 as well. and archie comics. for $5. one digest and one double digest. i double digest would cost almost that much.
alot of coffee (icafe vanilla) and chicken essence to keep me awake. i have no idea why i want to keep awake. you just stare at the bare ceilings thinking of things you shouldn't think of. i want to sleep...sleep...
bryan and kevin are perverts. just because i bent down. and my shirt was a little small. they had to laugh and tell everyone. you know how embarrasing it is?! i bet they don't understand because one: they are boys. and two: they both are so thick-skinned. i'm not like them. and ness just had to laugh along. i didn't really flush but i was mad and kept my eyes on the book. soo, i promised that i would rip her later. during break time. i didn't manage to..but lynn did. and i wasn't scared of being ripped. but nvm.
ohh and ss. i forgot. i got quite good. i mean like based on the other's performance. but the marks itself is not that fantastic. for portfolio, i got 26/28. and then for main paper. 30.5/40. not that fantastic...and for group work! yay! we got 35/40. without counting the reflections yet. so in total..it is: 84.1. not bad lah.
i wonder what to get lynn for her bdae. i alrd got bernice one...wonder what would lynn like.
sigh. another long day ahead. i hope time will fly back and forth. and make it seems like it never end or..it never even happened.
goodbye till later.
/ihopped at
11:37 PM
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::cotton candy:: / Wednesday, September 06, 2006
there's nothing to blog about. but i have TOO many wishes. i feel like eating cotton candy now. and chocolate. and i feel like going out to a big open spacious field where there's me and a few good friends having the time of the life. but, it seems so fictional. it..arhs, i don't think it'll really happen.
how come? everything you wish for is almost beyond your reach. but you still want it so badly. i don't think i can watch a movie, i don't think i can go out. shopping or anything else. it's gonna be work. and that's unhealthy.
i'm bored. after the PSLE i'm gonna have the time of my life. yay! as in go bunk in at chris's house or smth. since her sis is away(?). i mean, even if that's not possible she said it's fine to go to her house. and if our parents allow, we could go orchard! woo! or if they don't at least there's still parkway - just next to her house. yay! i still don't know what i'm gonna do then. sheesh.
it's gonna be a short post. because there's nothing to post about. urgh. how am i suppose to even get 270 for my PSLE? shoot. *bangs head* only music can sooth my tense nerves. ohh, and eragon [book] too. FANTASY BOOKS! yay!
/ihopped at
7:10 PM
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uh-huh. bean "stabbed" me. boo hoo. oh no, i asked her to do it. because i wanna do the questions. hee hee. for fun. here goes:
Some questions you would never ask anyone. Stab 5 people to do it after you are done.
1.When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
i'm not the person who looks into the mirror. and if i did, i won't go, "omigod! is that a zit?!" urgh. think of others
2. i'll skip this question. eww. for the original..please refer to bean's blog
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?
floor. a door have to be attached to a floor right?
4. Favorite planet?
it was once pluto. boo hoo. i'll make it neptune. god of the sea..haha
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
errh. mum. i didn't pick up her call cos i was eating lunch at coro.
6. What is your favorite ringtone on your phone?
silent movie. it's really cute.
7. What kinda shirt you have on?
yay! big tee. with the words, "WEST VIRGINIA UNIVERSITY XXL" got this in cmps fair
8. Describe yourself in one phrase
urgh. i dono. somebody suitable for living in paris? uhh.
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
no shoes in the room. but when i'm out, i don't wear shoes too. i wear sandals. for parties, i don't wear shoes (I DON'T HAVE!!!) - boots. casual-flip flops. sports - nike. I DON'T HAVE SHOES!!
10. Bright or Dark Room?
bright. need it bright all the time. if dark, gonna paste glow in the dark stickers all around.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
bean - mysterious, screamy at times! haha
12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
both. i'm greedy! i'll toss and turn and stretch my arms and legs out.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
what are you thinking about? sleeping and probably dreaming. errh...i remembered janne being the main character in my dream. serious. freaky.
14. What did your last text message say that you received on your mobile?
it's a spam message. chain sms. the xin xin girl.
15. Where is your letter box?
lobby
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
uh huh. yeah!
17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
umm, i can't remember.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
soft teddy bear! yay!
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
drugs? medicine? NONE. i'll never have them. NEVER EVER!!
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
none. and will never need. mine's digital. unless it gets spoilt and i need to get a one with fil needed.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
can i choose two? 11 (p5) 8 (p2)
22. Your worst enemy?
my fear
23. What is your current desktop picture?
microsoft thingy in metallic blue. NICE!
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"mummy, hai3 you3 fruits mah?" haha!
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly?
fly. with a million bucks, it'll slowly be wasted. but with the ability to fly, you'll see much much more of the world in a different view. an eye-opener. but i don't mind both though! *grins*
26. Do you like someone?
yeah. in what way? friends!
27. The last song you listened to?
kiss the girl - ashley tisdale (disney little mermaid) haha!!
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?
uh huh. as long as i don't die either. no, just kidding. i hope it doesn't happen.
29. If you could punch one person in the face who would it be?
hmm..i won't punch unless i'm really really mad. which i don't get easily. maybe kevin.
30. What is the closest object to your left foot
it isn't my right foot. it's a reused yellow deep-fryer box use to store my P5 files. hee!
i'm stabbing: there ain't much people..these few people blog.
zhiwen.estee.rach.yirong.changrui
/ihopped at
5:31 AM
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i think i'm getting cuckoo and a little shocked in the head. and my internet's connection's always going down. why i'm cuckoo? basically i think it's the hershey's cookies and cream chocolate bar i had at 5pm. it made me high and i cannot think right. like the chrysanthemum tea i was drinking just now. i put in front of the com, went to switch on the air-con and i forgot where i put it. in 5 seconds flat! i searched for about a minute and then caught sight of it. wait, this isn't cuckoo. more like short term memory loss. brr.
today was like any other normal day. except that the sun was scorching. and i didn't hear any birds chirping and i didn't find any joy in reading my book. [is this considered normal?] nevermind.
i had to be the tourguide - ok, more like road directory - when my mom had to fetch my sis for piano lessons. because my bus passes by there every morning. oh, i WANT to go to SCHOOL. sheesh. then, we ccame back. and i bought chocolate and plum candy. yum. went back home, ate chocolate and chat.
i don't know whether it's true or not. but jin claims and said that she talked to vanessa anne hudgens from hsm. WHOA! kindduf unbelievable, eh? and she said she got the contacts of ashley tisdale (sharpay/maddie), zac efron (troy), brenda song (london). and i think she talked to ashleigh for a minute. on this 3D chat thingy - imvu. jin invited me but i didn't really accepted the invitation.
personally i feel it isn't real. i mean, i think they are posers. not that i want to contradict jin or smth. here are the reasons:
- in zac's official site he said that he only have this site and he doesn't use any other forms of communications. msn, imvu.
- in the gallery of zac's imvu homepage, there were pics. and the caption was so...fake and exaggerated (esp those of ---)
- vanessa's homepage was extremely fake
- very few even leave posts or anything in their official site. they leave their fans to help them "prune" it. soo, much less spending time on chatting with unknown fans around the globe.
so i feel they are FAKE. take a look at their official sites. some are very well done. and have ALOT of juice. i love the miley cyrus one. she's the star for hannah montana. a show coming up on disney channel. eei! can't wait to watch it. it's about this girl [miley steward] who leads a double life as hannah montana. teenage superstar. but a social outcast [kindduf] in school. it seems good to me.
and the disney channel in usa is already showing hannah montana for weeks, maybe months already! and we don't even have it now. they get the things so fast. life isn't fair anyways. ohh, i just found out - from zac's page - that there's going to be a high school musical 2! WOOT! that would be so cool! new songs! and zac, i think, would be dying his hair black. his hair was originally black i think. it's going to be out next year.
but..by that time we would already be gone seperate ways. i mean different sec school and all. it would be difficult to stay in contact. alot of my good friends are going to rgs. and i most likely be going to nanyang. because of the programme and the good school environment, the character and their better development in chinese. i dono. rgs also have very good prgrammes to offer. so it's still like a dillema. sigh.
we won't be like together. laughing and talking like the world/day would go on forever. and i wish it had. but maybe again, this is my fantasy, my imagination. perhaps...i'm thinking/imagining that we (and i don't know who) are doing this. perhaps...we are not.
i'm sorry i got carried away. i told you i was cuckoo! here, the official sites. enjoy.
and i love korean dramas! [oops, sorry. i'm off topic.] but i really really do. signing off. as ashley/sharpay says it, "Toodles!"
/ihopped at
4:56 AM
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::mirror:: / Tuesday, September 05, 2006
i just had to post lyrics. from my favourite artiste: christina aguilera. her songs are HOT and her singing is really good. powerhouse, uh-huh. chris and i (urgh.) were talking (via msn) about music and such. we were SCREAMING! haha, sort of. she likes eminem and errh, i forgot. nelly? i dono..she was listening to flesh impin and i was watching mtv! lolx.
sigh, i don't want to be filthy rich. just a little above average. i was watching my super sweet 16 on mtv. the girls (who were filthy rich) were acting like spoilt brats. i mean they were like, "daddy~, where's my tia-ra? i'm a princess! i want it diamond studded! daddy~!" urgh. fancy them acting like that at age 16!
here people. the lyrics!
Fighter - Christina AguileraWhen I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Oh, ohh
Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I
realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture I
wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
that's it's folks
other nice christina aguilera songs:
she's actually quite pretty with her hair rebonded. and when she had this uncanny resemblance to marilyn monroe in the ain't no other man mv.
other nice artistes and bands
it mirrors. it reflects. if only you understand that...
/ihopped at
6:11 AM
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::frost:: / Monday, September 04, 2006
hey. i'm back. i've got the time, so i'll just post.
somehow, and i don't know why, i find utter joy in listening to christmas songs. i don't know, christmas is a long way from now (it seems), but listening to it just makes me feel so happy! uh-huh, maybe it's because it's a season of giving. and smiling. and joy! haha, but i don't feel that way now. and don't ask me why, cos i won't tell ya. it won't be reflected in my post today. i'll be telling of all the happy stuff. even if, on that day, it didn't turn out well and made me mad, or cry or....i'll just skip those parts. post the parts that made me laugh.
many many things happened.
it's the holidays. but i have to mug, because of my bad prelim results. since it makes me angry and sad (maybe) i won't be posting the results. even if people ask me too. this is going to be a HAPPY post. so wait till then. if you could read between the liness....
errh, let's see. SUNDAY! woot. jm (cousin) came and we kindduf played. yeah, scrabble. nothing to be very proud of. because he, the scrabble expert, thrashed me and his mother. by let's see, 150 marks. he's really good. yeah, each. then, aunt (his mom) bought this chocolate muffin. and i mean LOADS of chocolate on top. and yess, i squealed! yay, chocolate is my weakness.! it was a chocolate muffin, with a rich chocolate filled centre, and with chocolate moussed top with little chocolate truffles on top. woot! it was really really good.
and then later. errh, we went to boat quay. it was to collect a cake from coffee bean or smth. becos it was my other cousin's (cach) bdae. and we were going to jumbo to eat. but, somehow, we went to the wrong place. there were two jumbo's in that area. so we walked...to the other jumbo. and the difference in the shop/restaurant name was a word, "gallery". jumbo seafood. jumbo seafood
gallery. but it was facing the sea, and it was already dark at night. it was really a very nice ambience.
FOOD! it was one of the best i've ever tried. but i had to control myself...i didn't want to eat lots. cos the last time i did, i threw up. it was a paradis square (bugis). and the food there was AWESOME, so i just ate and ate and... okay, gross.
there was chilli kang kong, fried baby octopus, yam with scallop, duck and chicken palatte, stuffed
you tiao, mushroom, mantous, fried tempura prawns with mayo, and chilli CRAB! whoot. it was really a spread. it was nice. yum-yummy! (it's a marshmallow world). i was sitting beside my cousin, jm. and so we played 5-10. some hand game. at first it was he who kept on winning. i changed my style and i won the rest! yay, smart me! and here comes the best (erh?) part!
the birthday cake was set in front of cach. she's 19, but aunt bought her this kiddy but extremely CUTE cake. it was a candy castle. uh-huh. it was vertically shaped, 3D. it have this MnM door. and little flowers dotting around the castle. it's dough, i believe. and that silver plate, normally placed below the cake, was green. with rainbow chocolate sprinkles!!! we, kids, just love it. and there was chocolate at the top of the tower. and at the top of the tower was...guess. candy!!! mnm's, gummy bears, sour power, and chocolate mint eggs. WITH chocolate rainbow sprinkles. it was really really nice. i'll show the picture once i get it uploaded. it's not a promise, however. and then we, kids, just dug our grubby fingers (no, just kidding) into the candies on top. and yum! it was good.
haaha! the restaurant began playing a birthday song on the stereo!!! yes, to the whole restaurant. SO, everybody was looking at us. and cach was like blushing, so
malu. lolx. we sang the birthday song. we were laughing so hard lorhs. the problem was HOW to cut the birthday cake. since it was vertical. "why not just dig in! use fingers or fork!" we cut it in the end. what a pity....it tasted like
kueh. yeah that kind you eat during 7th month...eww. nice to see, not nice to eat. come to think of it, lana cake is still nicer.
for my birthday. i want either cheesecake (nydc's newyork or homemade jelly layered cheesecake). jelly layered was done for my birthday last year. ask lynn. or black forest. oh! maybe the muffins would be good....
we went back home and played monopoly! yay! i won! trick: always try to get hold of cheap places and build a hotel immediately. i was playing singapore version. good places to buy: newton circus/lau pa sat. orchard road/marina bay/bugis. parliament house/asian civilisation. i only target these few. i won!
*skip.skip.skip*
science centre trip. the magic show was nice. i mean, it was really humorous. however, that professor was kindduf scary. when somebody's mobile phone beeped..he was like, "GIVE ME THAT PHONE!" snatched it away. i thought he was joking at first when he stated the first "give me that phone" and then he screamed and i was freaked out. brr.
*skip.skip.skip*
ohh, forgot to write down. mrs. tia's daughter and husband came along as the parent volunteer fell ill. and the daughter was really really cute!! she was skipping along when mrs tia walked. can see she's very excited for this trip.
but so sad, we couldn't stay in the science centre for long. we only had 15 minutes free time. to go to the souvenir shop or macs. there wasn't anything at the shop that i want to buy. and macs had a LONG queue. so i just ate my own snacks. i had lightly salted biscuits and marshmallows. eeh! i just talked to audrey, offered her biscuits and she went home. by her mother. i just took the school bus back. sat with lynn. gave her a pack of marshmallows - she wanted them. and we played a trick on jesmond. haha! we sent him inuyasha and a cute picture through bluetooth. she sent me them too. it was really cute! lolx.
went to coro for lunch and met kim on the way. she was with her mum. wondered what they were doing there. she looks very pretty with her hair let down. was thinking of dropping by jin's house. she didn't seem to be around though.
went to mug at night. called chris for a chat on...something. you needn't ask.
sometimes i wish i hadn't known. wished i was stupid and didn't understand a thing. wished i wasn't around at that time. so i wouldn't have known.
you can choose to import/export. install/delete. i decided to export a few to the unknown world of cyberspace. never to retrieve again. i don't want them anyway. and for the other...i wanted to delete. but somebody was interrupting this system. it'll take a long long time to delete it. but i'll wait. wait for time to bring about its course. 10 years...even that, i'll wait. i'll forget that at that time i was....an old and abandoned hard disk drive. of no use. i'll continue to export/delete. slowly, slowly. waiting.....
/ihopped at
9:46 PM
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